Welcome to the second part in our Understanding Relationships series. In Part two we’ll explore how the right relationships start with us.
There are things we can do to enhance or detract from our relationships with others. We cannot be in a relationship with EVERYONE. If you want to improve your relationships with others you need to give them time and some energy. If you are spreading yourself too thinly then this makes it tricky. We have created a busy culture where we all try to fit too much in – this will impact our relationships with others as well as our relationship with ourselves.
I would suggest that our relationship with ourselves is the MOST important relationship and often one we don’t spend time on.
How often do you encourage yourself, nurture and nourish yourself, allow yourself to really know what you want and to make sure you get it, to attune to your innermost dreams and desires, to allow yourself time and space to reflect and say no to others when you don’t want to do something and know what it is that you are feeling and is really important to you.
To be able to have good relationships with others we need to have a good relationship with ourselves. We need to know what we need, when and from whom and to be able to understand our own process and that of others.
We are taught all sorts of things in school that we may never use again and yet we are taught very little about human psychology, motivation and needs and very little about being reflective and in contact with ourselves. We are taught little about saying no, setting boundaries, being compassionate (towards our self and others) and expressing empathy.
We can tend to meet the world with our defences up, even with good friends sometimes we don’t really allow ourselves to be truly ourselves. This creates a distance between us and others and this is one of the things that damages relationships, creates a lack or real contact and lessens the level of nourishment we get in our relationships.
We are all human and all have past experienced that affect us now. We are all irrational sometimes and can get into tricky processes with others. We have different views on things, different perceptions on life, other and things that happen and we have different ideas about what’s right and wrong. This can lead to conflict, to explore your relationship with yourself in a confidential environment, get in touch with one of the Link Centre team.