Attachment separation and loss

Its 9.13am and blog hour started at 9.00am.  I am sitting here pondering what to write – thinking through all sorts of interesting things I could share with you. And then I realised I am thinking…. thinking thinking thinking. Don’t get me wrong, thinking is a very important part of us – but sometimes we can get too stuck in our heads and miss what else is going on.

Let me focus on me. What am I feeling? Where am I, in this moment?

Physically, as I sit here, I am aware of a pain in my back. My legs are slightly cold and my feet are warm.

Emotionally, I have what feels like a lump in my heart.  As I acknowledge this to you – my throat swells and my eyes begin to tear. The feeling is sadness – the sadness of loss.

Yesterday I was interviewed on the radio. I had done a little preparation about what I was going to say, but actually what came out of my mouth was unplanned. I acknowledged my passions for community, education and quality of life, and how this linked to my brother and sister dying.

Life is Loss’ I don’t like this saying but there is some truth in it. As human beings we experience multiple losses in our lives. In the process of living, we attach to various things – people, places, events, and over time things change.  Nothing stays the same and we experience the loss of those things and the hole that they leave.

Although it is a normal experience, loss is painful for us. When I reflect on the things – the people I have lost in my life, and really allow myself to experience that grief – it’s HUGE. My mind picks through memories, snippets, bits I remember, places, smells, experiences. I feel the intense sadness of the experience of loss as I acknowledge that I may never see or experience this thing/person again. It’s almost too much. I don’t want it to be true.

‘When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight Kahlil Gibran

We feel loss because the thing/person/experience has some significance to us – it is because of our delight, our connection, our attachment that we experience loss. The more we value – the more we grieve when we experience loss.

The other choice is not to attach – not to care, not to experience, not to have the joy – love – life that this brings. For me this is no choice at all. However, sometimes people cut off from their feelings and live in their heads…… thinking, thinking thinking, as a way of avoiding the pain of loss. Of course they then miss the joy of the connection.

If you are in touch with your loss – you are not alone – it is part of being human.

There are beautiful people in similar situations, feeling very much the same things as we are.  And though we are alone, in a way we are not, and for me there’s a comfort in that.”

By Leilani Mitchell

These are my random ramblings today; tomorrow I might change my mind.

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