Home » Articles » Dr Mark Widdowson Tribute by Leilani Mitchell

Dr Mark Widdowson Tribute by Leilani Mitchell

I first met Mark at a TA Conference back in the dark ages (it feels like). I think it must have been about 1999/2000 and I remember our first conversation was about grief AND we also spent a lot of time laughing. I loved the way Mark and I could have meaningful conversation around serious issues, that were close to our hearts and have fun at the same time.

We were both young, quite chaotic and finding our way in the TA Community and in life. We were both training at different training institutes and were both thirsty to learn and to find ways through our own personal issues, as well as develop future careers.

In 2002, in Utrecht we both took our CTA exams in the same time slot, Mark was about three doors along the corridor from me. We wished each other luck and went in.

After about 50 minutes, when my exam was still in progress, I heard a massive SCREEEAMMM of delight and feet running down the corridor outside my exam room.

My examiners were perplexed and I said: ‘I think Mark Widdowson has passed his exam’. Each year on July the 4th, we wish each other Happy CTA day.

Our careers developed with some parallels PTSTA/TSTA etc but also went in very different directions. I started The Link Centre, while Mark trained at various training centres, immersed himself in research, wrote books and worked at the University of Salford.

Mark was always hugely supportive of me personally and professionally and I like to think that I was the same for him.

Mark’s honesty shone through for me and was an important value we shared. I knew that I could say anything, ask anything and he would give me a straight and honest answer (even if I didn’t like it).

He was generous to me and to our community and always found time to send me thoughts, ideas and articles.

Mark had been working with the Adam Mickiewicz University in Poland a collaboration to provide trauma focused training to Polish therapists who were working with Ukrainian refugees.

He was preparing for his upcoming visiting professorship with the Faculty of Psychology and Cognitive science at Adam Mickiewicz in the Autumn.

Over the years, we were both busy but we met in various places, including lots of TA events in various locations around the world.

In the last few years Mark has been hugely supportive to me through some very difficult times that have challenged my views of people and community.

Mostly we would meet online, he would draw up a chair, light up a fag and his husband Philip would bring him a ‘brew’ . I truly felt that Mark ‘had my back’.

Sixteen years ago, Mark met Philip. I remember Mark bringing Philip along to a TA conference and I was intrigued about who this new man in his life was. Mark came in and proudly showed Philip off to us, it was a lovely moment. Their love for each other shone through and has been a constant in both of their lives ever since.

Mark utterly adored Philip (and Philip, Mark) and would talk about him at any and every opportunity.

Whether Philip was in the room or not, he was always included and many people who attended any online workshops will have seen Philip delivering a ‘brew’ at various times during the sessions.

In July 2018, two days before Mark’s 44th birthday, Philip and Mark got married and continued to adventure together.

Mark was a BIG personality and was an accomplished and entertaining speaker, he was also a quiet man (not everyone saw that) and loved having time alone, at home, in Manchester or anywhere with My Philip as he used to call him.

When COVID hit, I contacted Mark to talk through an idea of doing by-donation, accessible workshops for the community to help support people through this time. He was immediately onboard with it and supportive of the idea. I talked to Onlinevents about it and the idea was launched.

Mark did many wonderful online workshops, again showing his generosity and passion and how accomplished he was at swearing! Sometimes we would take bets on how long it would be until Mark uttered the first swear word.

Mark was very proud of his sister who was training a nutritionist and some of you will have attended workshops that Nicola and Mark provided together. You could see the love and support between the two of them.

I know Mark’s Mum, Sue, was very proud of everything her son achieved and the difference he made to people’s lives.

Mark was so proud of getting the job at Salford University and he was also really pleased to be contributing in making TA more recognised and respected. He loved his students and the fact he could really make an impact to peoples’ learning journey, professionalism and effectiveness.

He also worked for the Berne and for us at The Link Centre, offering various workshops over the years. As Mark was now leaving the University we had many conversations about other projects we were going to work on together and we were both excited about the future.

Mark was a funny, intelligent, irreverent, inspiring, remarkable, passionate, geeky (his own words) and sometimes frustrating (when it came to admin) gorgeous human being.

Mark’s contribution to the TA community as a whole and to individuals both within TA and wider community, is immeasurable.

He was driven by wanting to make a positive difference in the world and he certainly achieved that.

Mark was always willing to challenge, question, debate and was also open to listening to others and being open to learning.

He had a veracious appetite for our profession and was always focused on what is effective, what works, what doesn’t work and how we can best facilitate our clients.

He was also very open in saying that he felt that some theories were not useful and didn’t mind being seen as controversial in those views.

I cannot believe that I am writing this and that he is no longer in this world, my heart, along with many others, is feeling the loss – I will miss him greatly.

– Words by Leilani Mitchell

PLEASE SHARE YOUR MEMORIES OF MARK ON HIS TRIBUTE PAGE:

Here is Mark’s tribute page, for those who want to share stories, memories and photos: https://www.online-tribute.com/MarkWiddowson